Like this kid has somewhere better to be.
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“Hey gals, can we uh, wrap this up soon? I’ve got a date with my dad’s secretary in an hour.”
When you’re livin’ large, your dance card is always full.
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“Ugh, not here again. I thought I gave her my fake number last time.”
Life can be so hard!
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I’m pretty sure you can cut glass on this bride’s trapezius muscles. Awesome. She’s levitating above her shoes! Something tells me she’s going to land perfectly in those heels whenever she decides to come down. Which could be in like an hour.
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Well here’s an example of camouflage totally defeating its original purpose. Did she climb up a ladder to step into this thing? It’s quite spacious. Are they going to put it up for rent on Craigslist when the wedding’s over? “Roomy interior, no bath but will get you laid.”
Related: I Almost Didn’t Notice Him and Deerly Beloved
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“What is this, sparkling wine? I thought someone said there was going to be gin at this shindig. Ughh, these kids are all so 1st grade. They don’t even know their times tables yet. I have a feeling it’s gonna be a long night.”
Limos are totally overrated. Why fork over the cash to catch a lift to your wedding when there are other perfectly functional modes of transportation? Like the trunk of this car:
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It’s no one’s fault but the bride’s that she got a floofy dress that doesn’t fit inside your average sedan. But hey, it’s not like they’re being hauled off in a freaking bulldozer or anything…
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At least they put down a tarp. And they seem pretty happy, almost like they won this sweet ride on a morning radio show. That or their friends are playing a joke on them that’s so bad, it’s good. Reminds me of this crew.
